For New Years Eve a couple years ago, my aunt, Regina, treated myself and Dana to a Korean massage in Koreatown. The website provided descriptions for each treatment and what their amenities were, but not much else. We didn’t really know what to expect. Dana and I laughed, what if we have to be naked?
After checking in, we were handed towels, robes, and sandals and pointed to the first locker room, where our shoes were to be kept. After that, we headed into a larger room that had sinks and mirrors against one wall, more lockers on the other, and then a step up into a darker room with yoga mats all over the floor. No real instructions were given, we just assumed by all of the nude women around that this was where we were to undress. The keys for our lockers had numbers on them and every few minutes, a woman would call out a different number. I hadn’t been paying much attention to the women doing the calling as Dana and I were whispering to ourselves about which item of clothes definitely was NOT coming off. Like our underwear.
Meanwhile, Regina isn’t give a single fuck. She has already completely stripped down and is in her robe chilling on the couch.
By the time we join her, in our underwear & robes, my number is already being called. I’m first. I’m greeted by this small round Korean woman wearing black silky underwear that go past her navel and a supportless bra. Before I step all the way into the next room - which is wide open with pools and a jacuzzi in the middle, showers on one side, the message tables on the other, and nude ladies everywhere - the woman is already pulling the robe off of my shoulders and pointing at my underwear as she’s shaking her head. I almost fall over. I tell her to give me just one second and she keeps telling me NO NO NO and I’m scrambling to cover myself. When I break away, I run to Dana and I tell her they’re saying no underwear. She says she doesn’t care, she’s wearing hers, so I’m like, FINE. I will to.
And I do. The woman takes my robe off, tells me no, I tell her yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Finally, she tells me to lay down on my back and I’m stoked that my underwear are on. Until I feel her fingers slip under them and pull them off before I even have a chance to realize what’s happening. I look up to see her wrinkle up her nose, holding my underwear with the tips of her fingers with her arm fully extended. She promptly ball them up in a wash rag and place them next to my robe. Wonderful.
Just a few minutes later, Dana is protesting the same way I did. She comes around the corner and sees me laid out like a dead person, “oh no, Ali.” I’m blushing and feeling strange and I just nod because, well. We’re here now. And I was making a damn fool out of myself by protesting in front of all these women that are like, what the hell is wrong with you? Actually, I made eye contact with a few of them and they all kinda looked at me with this sincere sympathy.
Regina comes around the corner nude, ready to go. Her Korean lady is picking her robe off of the ground. Homegirl ain’t playin’ around.
Due to our protest, we are all scrubbed down at the same time and sent over to the showers on the other side of the room. I’m mortified, but not as bad as I was because doing anything but acting natural is going to get more attention than my visible lady bits - after all, this is a lady only establishment!
The place was packed due to it being a holiday, so the three of us cram into a stall together. We’re family, why not! We try to rinse down quickly and get back to laying down because, somehow, it’s more comfortable to lay down with your bits exposed than it is to parade them across the room.
Before I can even begin to lower my body back onto the massage bed, my Korean woman grabs me and raises my arm above my head. Feeling inside of my arm pit, she discovers that I didn’t get all of the salt scrub off and sends me back. I glance over at Dana has her woman does the same and we walk back to the showers feeling like children. This time, we each get our own shower and rinse off properly.
After that, it was all deep rubs and relaxation. Nothing to complain about. We leave the place feeling like we’re floating on clouds. We return to have large slices of my birthday cake and fight to stay awake for the new year. I have yet to start a year feeling as fresh and as free as I did that year.
This is relevant because Regina is treating us all to another Korean massage tonight. This time, I hear we will have our own private rooms, but I’m not even concerned about it anymore. Lately, I’ve been feeling especially free with my body and not giving a single fuck, just like Regina. Why should I? I’m loving this body of mine. Might as well share it.